I am currently in the depths of limbo that exists between Christmas and New Year, where I have eaten too much and not had enough fresh air; trying to make preparations for my newly organised life from the comfort of my sofa. It’s New Years Eve today and I am a little confused as to where this year has gone. It is like I have blinked and missed a whole year of my life.
This year I became an Aunty, went on two trips, turned 27, started a new job, laughed, cried and failed my driving test twice.
This time last year I decided not to make any New Years Resolutions, but instead I set myself some realistic goals about the things that I’d like to achieve throughout the year. Whilst I’d like to say that I did achieve them, I’m not sure that I actually did. 2019 has been a hectic year for me, and a little overwhelming at times to say the least, but I am feeling positive for a new start in 2020.
There is no better feeling than waking up on New Years Day, slobbing around in your pyjamas, but still feeling like the world is your oyster and that you can conquer anything. There is a lot that I want to focus on this year and I’m hopeful that I will have a positive 2020.
I want to focus on myself more. I set myself this goal last year, but I think this is the one that has been the most neglected of all. I have had a difficult couple of months as I have been feeling extremely anxious and insecure, and have been making myself completely miserable. I have a habit of neglecting myself by putting the needs of others before my own because I want to make the people that I love happy. I feel worried and guilty about whether I have upset those that I love and struggle to say no. But I want to start putting myself first and saying NO more often to things that I do not want to do, or things that won’t make me happy. January is going to be a month of self-care: enjoying my own company, eating healthier food, spending more time outside and looking after myself properly – appreciating the wonders of me.
I want to read more. Reading has been a great distraction to my busy mind and has brought me much comfort this year. I also think that this is the the goal that I came the closest to achieving in 2019. However, I am unsure whether I actually managed to finish a book (my bad, I know!). Maybe I should refine this goal to finish all of the books that I began to read in 2019 and not allow myself to start any new books, before completing one?
I want to spend more time offline. In 2019 I took the decision to deactivate my Facebook, as I spent too much time mindlessly scrolling through a news feed full of dribble and people vying for the attention of others. I also deactivated my Instagram and Snapchat temporarily and surprisingly it soothed a lot of my insecurities for a little while. I want to try and half my social media time at least.
I want to spend less and save more. I have a very frivolous attitude towards money and find it impossible to save. This year I want to make a conscious effort to spend less money on clothes (she says whilst browsing the Nobody’s Child sale) and recycle and reuse more of the things that I have in my wardrobe, clear some of my debts (yes, we all have them) and get more money saved. I propose a no spend January to kick-start this. We’ll see how this goes…
I want to continue seeing more of the world. This may seem contradictory to my goal to save more, but I want a life rich in experiences and travel because it is a wondrous world that we live in after all. I was lucky enough to visit Croatia and Malta last year (you will be able to read more about these trips soon), but there is so much of this world to left for me to explore and I’m excited to start planning more trips in 2020.
I want to blog more. Last year, my goal was to write more – I had initially intended on getting back into creative writing, but instead I swapped it for reviving my blog. I had planned for it to be a way to build up a portfolio of writing to create more interesting job opportunities for myself, but sadly I haven’t kept up with it as I had intended to, despite having a lot of content in mind. Time just seemed to run away from me so sitting down to write something became problematic. I want to turn this blog into a positive space for myself that will allow me to grow and share my experiences. I have a lot of support, but I am very lazy, so I think spending more time planning and actually writing is key.
I want to pass my driving test. This, like all of the other goals on this list was one from 2019 also. I have taken my driving test twice this year already, but I am still yet to pass. I came very close the second time, but was thwarted by a tricksy red light at the very end of my test. I came close to giving up after this, but I am more determined than ever to make sure that I pass in January 2020!
I want to be happier and worry less. I am generally a happy person, but slowly I have been finding myself letting more and more things get to me and worrying about what people think of me. This really disturbs my happiness and I have felt very unlike myself. I want to be able to separate myself from any negativity that presents itself around me and focus on being happier and more positive in 2020. Finding the positive in all situations, rather than just the negative. After all, life is too short to spend time dwelling on things that make me miserable; precious moments that I can’t get back end up passing me by.
I am confident that I will achieve more of my goals this year. Last year I made a little progress with them so there can only be huge victories in 2020.
I hope you all have a wonderful New Years Eve, and an even better 2020!